Post Election Celebratory Cake

Celebratory Post-Trump "Cheese Cake"
(AKA: Melting Lump of Trump)
Multi-media sculpture by
KK Remus (c) 2021

And finally, he's OUTTA THERE!  So I decided to make a "cake" to celebrate T****'s exodus.  But what kind of cake could possibly capture the hellish four years that marked this bloody, pissy, seemingly interminable period of time? Only one with the following qualities:

1. Inedible
2. Orange
3. Unappetizing
4. All appearance; no real purpose
5. Dangerous
6. Insane

In other words, not really a cake at all. It is a cake in the same way that T**** was president.

The cheesy-looking lump on the top is orange kitchen clay left over from my "Art Project: Making a Bust of Trump" post on this very blog (see March 16, 2020). This salty, crusty, ageing, useless, blob of nasty toxic dough has been sitting in the fridge wrapped in plastic film this whole time.

Into a roughly volcano-shaped mass of this icky clay, I stuck countless, pointy shards of cut up credit cards. This sculpture is not yet dry as of this writing, but once it is, if you try to pick it up or touch any part of it except for the base, it will cut you and draw blood.  Your dried blood spattered on the piece, will contribute an appropriate new element to this work of art.

The base is a leftover wooden cheese package that had contained "President" brand brie cheese.  How convenient!  My hoarding finally paid off.  Incidentally, that cheese was delicious, and it would have made a much better president than T****.

The backdrop is fabric from worn out, cut up, yoga pants that I had for over 20 years, and finally turned into rags.  The falling festive confetti (or covfefe as T**** might have called it), was just drawn in with my cheap phone features.  Yellow for pee, and red for blood.  By the way, is that pee pee tape ever coming out?  I guess we'll just have to settle for this fake pee pee "ticker tape."

This confection of doom is for sale, if you want to buy it.  Just leave me a comment, and we'll work something out. I really need to start an Etsy shop or something.  If you're just reading this blog for the first time I'm not a billionaire.  I chose "Genius Billionaire" when I started this blog back in 2013, because it struck me as ridiculous, silly, thing to call myself.  LITTLE DID I KNOW, that a few years later, we'd have a White House occupant who claimed to be both (and of course, was neither), and was totally serious about it!  Aiy yai yai!

 

T-Rump: The Don-eye-sore That Can't Go Extinct Fast Enough

"T-Rump," Sharpie & Crayon on paper by K.K. Remus (c) 2020

We just got a "letter" from Trump saying that our stimulus payments had arrived.  They came weeks ago--we knew.  His "signature" looked like jagged animal teeth or the results of a lie detector test where someone was lying through their teeth.  Hence this drawing. 

Art Project: Making a Bust of Trump

1. Make a fist-sized lump of kitchen clay.  Set aside two white globs.  Add yellow and red food coloring. Drink alcohol as needed, because it's going to get gross.

2. Mix well to evenly distribute color.  See what I meant about gross?  Looks like a tumor.

3. Form orange clay into a blob. 

4. Pinch to form ridges, use a butter knife to make furrows, and add white clay as needed 

until you achieve a ballpark, repulsive likeness of Donald J. Trump.

"Bust of Trump" by Karen K. Remus (c) 2020

I could have gotten the likeness way more accurate and hideous, but at this point, it was close enough, and I didn't want to spend any more time on it (or throw up).

5.  If you feel like it, punch it hard repeatedly.  I felt like it.

666. Re-shape into the Circus Peanut of the Apocalypse.

"Circus Peanut of the Apocalypse" by Karen K. Remus (c) 2020

DO NOT EAT!

Question for Donald Trump (Sr.)

QUESTION FOR DONALD TRUMP:

If you think the "Failing New York Times," as you call it, is "fake news" and not to be believed, then WHY DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THE RECENT OP-ED CRITICISING YOU WAS TRULY WRITTEN BY A MEMBER OF YOUR ADMINISTRATION?

HUH?  Answer me!

Twin Trumps and The Fine Art of Debate

"Twin Trumps and The Fine Art of Debate," by Karen Remus (c) 2018

Legion of Modern Times

Practical Joke on Trump

Q: What did Trump say when he opened his bedroom door and found the room packed, floor to ceiling, with inflatable sex dolls?

A: "Fake nudes!"


PS: I don't think he'd be smart enough to think of that, but it makes a good story.
PPS:  There's definitely enough hot air in the White house to inflate that many dolls.

What Russia Has On Trump

In a recent monologue, National Treasure,* Stephen Colbert, said something to this effect: "What do the Russians have on Trump?  I hope it's more than just the pee pee tape."

Good Point (as usual)!  Here's what I think they have:  all of his wealth.

Don Jr. once told a Mar-a-Lago guest that the Trumps did not have to worry about money, because they could obtain unlimited funds from the Russians. 

This makes complete sense.  Trump claims to be a billionaire, and yet he has declared bankruptcy four times in his adult life. This is not possible, unless his billions come from outside of the U.S.

I believe that Trump sold his loyalty to Putin/Russia for "unlimited funds."  This would explain: 1) his extreme allegiance to Putin and obsession with Russia, 2) why he will not release his tax returns, 3) why he can be such a poor businessman with multiple failed enterprises and four bankruptcies, yet remain a "billionaire," 4) how he can have any money at all, when American banks will not touch him, 5) why the Russians helped him win the U.S. presidency--and many more Russian-related oddities that swarm like flies around Donald J. Trump's bloated orange carcass.

Trump is a geyser of vulgarity, and we Americans have been steeped in his effluence ever since he took office.  At this point, I doubt that the release of the alleged "pee pee tape" would shock anyone.  Trump would merely claim that it was fake or had been "CGI'd" or something.

*Finally, a word about the "National Treasure" status of Stephen Colbert.  He deserves the Nobel Peace Prize.  He, more than any other prominent American figure, has helped the populace--the part that thinks and feels, anyway--through some extremely tough times.  His compassion, intelligence and hilarious wit are the main things that got us through "W's" presidency and now Trump's.  Stephen Colbert Saves Lives!

Citrus

"Run Away And Join The Citrus," gouache on paper, 11" x 13," (c) 2018 by Karen Kay Remus

It's a bad pun.  It's a painting.  It's outer-spacey.  It's lettering.  It's images of oranges.  It's...Run Away and Join the Citrus!

PS: Hey Trump, oranges were orange way before you were, and they wore it better!

White House Sink Hole

Why has a sink hole appeared in the White House's front yard?  That's a no-brainer!
Melania has been trying to tunnel out, and she simply misjudged the depth in that area.

The Bombing of Syria

One thing we still do not know regarding the Allied bombing of the Syrian military base:  was Trump eating "beautiful chocolate cake" when it happened?

Humpty Trumpty

Humpty Trumpty

(A prophetic poem)
by Karen Kay Remus (c) 2018

Humpty Trumpty said, "Build a wall."
Humpty Trumpty had a great fall
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Likewise got busted and put in the pen

The Not-So-Secret Plan to Defeat "Vanilla ISIS"

By Karen Kay Remus 

How do we defeat the mass shooting terrorism that is rampant in the United States?

The first step is to ban assault weapons.  They were banned, from 1994 to 2004.  There is no valid reason for civilians to own them.

Since the ban expired, there have been over 32 mass shootings in the United States. This figure is from 2013.  Unfortunately, research on shooting deaths is limited, because the Centers for Disease Control, the agency that should be compiling and studying this data in order to help erradicate this deadly epidemic, is not. See: why the CDC is not researching gun violence

The point is, one mass shooting is too many, and the problem is escalating.

In response to last week's Florida school shooting, Trump has advocated "arming teachers."  Having taught at a high school, I can tell you that this is a very bad idea.  Anyone who has ever taught knows why this is true.  Not only would it lead to even more shooting deaths, but it would do nothing to stop massacres like the Las Vegas Concert Shooting or the Aurora Colorado Theater Shooting.  

The only way to end mass shooting terrorism is to heed the warning signs of potential shooters and keep guns out of their hands. We can accomplish this by banning assault weapons, by letting the CDC study and help eliminate this epidemic, and by passing sensible gun legislation.

Vanilla ISIS

Vanilla ISIS
by Karen Kay Remus (c) 2018

Two of Trump's 2016 campaign promises included:  a Mexican border wall to keep out "bad hombres" and a "secret plan to defeat ISIS."

However, as evidenced by the recent carnage at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, there is an even more imminent and increasingly common terrorist threat than that posed by any "foreigner" or group thereof, and that is:  American-born, mentally unstable persons with assault weapons in combination with a United States senate that refuses to pass sensible gun legislation.

Let us start by calling mass-shooting on American soil, “terrorism,” because by definition, that is exactly what it is.  Defeating this form of terrorism requires neither a “wall” nor a “secret plan,” but simply, sensible gun legislation.

However, because the legislators with the power to end this crisis--namely, our POTUS and senate--are heavily supported by pro-gun interests, they have a (bullet-proof) vested interest in perpetuating it.  I submit to you that they are the terrorists.

Let us speak out, petition, and vote until justice and peace prevail!

Melania Sings the Blues

"Melania Blues," Original words, music and performance

by Karen Remus (c) 2017

Did I mention that I, Karen Remus, pretend genius-billionaire, used to be a performing singer/songwriter (1997-2003)?  Well, after a fifteen year hiatus, I actually wrote, performed, and impersonated to the best of my ability, this tribute to a pitiable woman for whom I feel sorry--but only to a point--because she had to have somewhat* suspected what she was getting into.  

*Probably didn't suspect becoming FLOTUS, which must be torture. SAD. But fear not, Melania:  once the BLOATUS goes down in flames, you're OUTTA there, and then you can be YOU--whatever/whoever that is!

Here is the YouTube Link, in case you want to see it larger, read the subtitles, and/or share: https://youtu.be/UiMLHLyHvxk

ENJOY!

KRGB

Occupy Truth!

Dear Readers,

For several months, after the unbelievable news that Trump won the 2016 election, I was stunned, depressed, and also fascinated in the way I would be fascinated by a hallucinogenic circus freak show.

I followed all of the comedians regularly--especially Stephen Colbert--to get my news.  For a while, I laughed, because Stephen is hilarious, and I had the hope each day that Trump would be righteously kicked out of the White House along with his band of sycophantic psychos.

But now, that hope is waning, and I can't even watch the humorists anymore.  I have to cut all of this "orange fat" out of my diet--for now, at least--because it is draining my soul.

I had come up with some jokes that I was going to post, like calling Steve Bannon a "Satanic Bullfrog who needs power washing with holy water,which would probably cause a nuclear explosion."  I was even going to draw cartoons, but I don't want to spend any more of my precious time, life, or energy on this matter.

I am SICK OF IT!  TRUMP IS A HORRIBLE, MORALLY BANKRUPT IDIOT WHO IS ENDANGERING THE COUNTRY AND THE PLANET!  He takes his orders from Vladimir Putin, his daughter Ivanka, and the Devil.  Is anyone going to step in?  Who is the higher authority in this land?  Isn't this country supposed to be a democracy?  There are so many smart people out there.  Are we all powerless?

Here are my charges to anyone reading:

• Occupy Intelligence!
• Occupy Compassion!
• Occupy Truth!
• Occupy Democracy!
• Occupy Integrity!
• Occupy Sanity!
• Occupy Love!

Love, Karen Remus, The Pretend Billionaire who admits it

Content of Trump-Putin Meetings Revealed!

What have Trump and Putin been discussing in these recent, lengthy, undisclosed meetings?  That's easy!  Trump's tax returns.

Wieners in the News

Or Wieners and Losers

By Karen Kay Remus (C) 2017

What is it with wieners and male politicians?  I mean, besides the fact that if they are male, they have them.  I'm referring to the fact that so many cannot keep their lips zipped about their zipper sticks.

Back in 2011, Anthony Wiener killed his political career by texting a photo of his boxer-clad wiener to his mistress.  The photo went viral.  In response, I painted the picture below, asking, "What's Next in Wienerville?"

"What's Next in Wienerville?" By Karen K. Remus (C) 2011, Gouache on Paper, 9"x 12"

Six years later, I have my answer.  After having learned nothing from his previous experience, Anthony Wiener now faces prison time for sexting an under-aged girl.

Wiener is a Democrat--and very intelligent--except when it comes to being discrete about his meat.

But incessant yacking about yoo-hoos is not a partisan issue.  Somehow Donald Trump entered the wiener arena (or wienarena), and actually referred to the size of his member during the presidential debates!  To the entire world, he announced something to the effect that there was nothing wrong down there, implying that his winky was not abnormally dinky.

As usual, his staff continues to issue conflicting and self-contradictory information . . .

 

The Trump White House = the New (Unfunny) Beverly Hillbillies

By Karen Kay Remus (C) 2017

I don't think I need to elaborate much on my title. If you are familiar with the original Beverly Hillbillies sit-com (1962-1971) and the Trump White house (2017-????), all you have to do is consider the many similarities between the two.

If you need help, I'll get you started.

By a freak turn of events, a close-knit family is transplanted from its natural habitat to a vastly different environment, to which they are completely foreign and ill-suited.  Here are just a few similarities...

• Said transplants retain their old language, lifestyle, and MO in their new environments--to ludicrous effect.
• The transplants are a "family," but the actual relationships between them are not clear-cut.
• Both have family members who still live in their former environment but occasionally come out to visit (Jethrine/Melania).
• Both families live in a house where they clearly do not belong.
• Some guy, closely linked to their money, is always lurking in the background; spying, sweating, and trying to control things. 
• The heads of household have odd, non-scientific, medical beliefs.
• Both are fantasy-based TV shows.

If you think of more, please comment!  Now, here are some differences.  Again, please weigh in, if you think of more.

• The Beverly Hillbillies were a funny and benign distraction, while the Trump White house is a tragic and malignant one.
• The Beverly Hillbillies were more believable and realistic than the Trump White house.
• Any of the characters on the Beverly Hillbillies would have made better presidents and/or cabinet members than Trump and posse.
• Granny whoops Kellyanne Conway on every possible level.

  

American Slang Terms

Q:  Is there any distinction between the terms, "scumbag," "asshole," and "lowlife?"

A: Yes.  The proper terms are currently: "Mr. President," "Mr. Spokesman," and, "Mr. Adviser."