Depressed Drunken Santa

Drunken Depressed Derelict Santa Claus 

Even Santa Gets the Blues, Collage and paint on paper
by Karen K. Remus and Amie Smith Torok
(c) 2018

Even Santa Gets the Blues, Collage and paint on paper
by Karen K. Remus and Amie Smith Torok
(c) 2018

The holidays are a rough time for everyone, including Santa Claus.  For starters, his pole is melting. Take that any way you want. 

This artwork began as an homage to "Curly Jefferson," a dead character played by a mannequin in an episode of the hilarious comedy series, "The Mighty Boosh."  Today, my friend and I set out to re-create an image of Curly and attach it to the ceiling (where Curly Jefferson's corpse resides in the show) before her husband got home (what you do for fun when you don't have kids), but we ended up hanging him on a hook in the bathroom, which was easier.  Then we strung Christmas lights over him.

This evening, when I recieved the photos that my friend emailed me after our ultra-creative day, I realized that most people who saw these photos would think that it was a run-down Santa.  I don't think "Curly Jefferson" is a household name, even though it should be.

So let the interpretation of this image reside with the beholder.  If you think it looks like a Santa who's just not into it this year, then let it be!  If you know about Curly Jefferson, and want to see more, full-length photos, then let me know, and I'll post them.

Happy Holidays!

Melania Sings the Blues

"Melania Blues," Original words, music and performance

by Karen Remus (c) 2017

Did I mention that I, Karen Remus, pretend genius-billionaire, used to be a performing singer/songwriter (1997-2003)?  Well, after a fifteen year hiatus, I actually wrote, performed, and impersonated to the best of my ability, this tribute to a pitiable woman for whom I feel sorry--but only to a point--because she had to have somewhat* suspected what she was getting into.  

*Probably didn't suspect becoming FLOTUS, which must be torture. SAD. But fear not, Melania:  once the BLOATUS goes down in flames, you're OUTTA there, and then you can be YOU--whatever/whoever that is!

Here is the YouTube Link, in case you want to see it larger, read the subtitles, and/or share: https://youtu.be/UiMLHLyHvxk

ENJOY!

KRGB

What and Why?

by Karen Kay Remus (c) 2017

What is the meaning of my life?

Why am I living in the Deep South?

Why am I forced to read Flannery O’Connor?

With her southern-fried often bloodied and insane protagonists?

Why have I lived fifty three years

And only attained the position of English tutor?

When I had such grand plans for my future:

Concert pianist, famed vocalist, Mozart-level composer

Edvard-Munch-esque painter, Stephen King-styled author

Comedienne a la Lucille Ball, Monty Python, or Steve Martin?

Einstein-equivalent discoverer of universal truths

And solver of age-old, world-wide problems

Like over-population, pollution, habitat destruction

Animal extinction, world hunger, fossil fuel dependence

War, violence, and the Orwellian decline of society?

Why am I living in a declining Orwellian society?

Wherein the lunatic president of this country

Was installed by the lunatic president of another country
In direct opposition to the Constitution of this country?

Why do I wake up every morning asking why?

Why should I get up and go out into the grind

When the highest authority in the country

Lacks my own skill level and makes

Over one-hundred times my annual income

And still considers his income paltry

And calls his grand residence a “dump?”

And creates nothing except discord and derision 

Among the people he is supposed to serve?

I’ll tell you why:

To spur me to action

It ain’t over yet

It has only just begun

53 is the new 35, but twice as scarred and smart

I whip my body and mind into a weapon of mass construction

I move upon my sacred calling like a bitch

Empowering people to wield their voices, pens, and keyboards

More mightily than swords or light sabers

Status meaning nothing. Intention meaning everything

I am a cable for the current that inspires new generations to think critically 

And to rise up, speaking their own transcendent wisdom

Occupy Truth!

Dear Readers,

For several months, after the unbelievable news that Trump won the 2016 election, I was stunned, depressed, and also fascinated in the way I would be fascinated by a hallucinogenic circus freak show.

I followed all of the comedians regularly--especially Stephen Colbert--to get my news.  For a while, I laughed, because Stephen is hilarious, and I had the hope each day that Trump would be righteously kicked out of the White House along with his band of sycophantic psychos.

But now, that hope is waning, and I can't even watch the humorists anymore.  I have to cut all of this "orange fat" out of my diet--for now, at least--because it is draining my soul.

I had come up with some jokes that I was going to post, like calling Steve Bannon a "Satanic Bullfrog who needs power washing with holy water,which would probably cause a nuclear explosion."  I was even going to draw cartoons, but I don't want to spend any more of my precious time, life, or energy on this matter.

I am SICK OF IT!  TRUMP IS A HORRIBLE, MORALLY BANKRUPT IDIOT WHO IS ENDANGERING THE COUNTRY AND THE PLANET!  He takes his orders from Vladimir Putin, his daughter Ivanka, and the Devil.  Is anyone going to step in?  Who is the higher authority in this land?  Isn't this country supposed to be a democracy?  There are so many smart people out there.  Are we all powerless?

Here are my charges to anyone reading:

• Occupy Intelligence!
• Occupy Compassion!
• Occupy Truth!
• Occupy Democracy!
• Occupy Integrity!
• Occupy Sanity!
• Occupy Love!

Love, Karen Remus, The Pretend Billionaire who admits it