Practical Joke on Trump

Q: What did Trump say when he opened his bedroom door and found the room packed, floor to ceiling, with inflatable sex dolls?

A: "Fake nudes!"


PS: I don't think he'd be smart enough to think of that, but it makes a good story.
PPS:  There's definitely enough hot air in the White house to inflate that many dolls.

Poultrygeist!

"Poultrygeist!" pen on legal paper
by Karen Remus (c) 2018

Santa Jaws!

"Santa Jaws," colored pencil on paper
by Karen Kay Remus (c) 2017

Unlike Santa Claus, who comes down your chimney, Santa Jaws swims up your drainpipe and attacks you in the bathtub.  It is literally a "blood bath."  He doesn't care if you've been naughty or nice. He cares about you like the Starkist Tuna announcer cares about Charlie the tuna:  He only cares that you taste good.

The Seer's Confession

A New Poem by Karen Kay Remus (c) 2017

The Seer’s Confession
By Karen Remus, ©2017

I’m seeing a seer
The seer sees a see-saw by the sea side
He also sees sea shells but
Says these are secondary in symbolic significance
To the see-saw he sees

“Superfluous sea debris!” he snorts
“See-Saws by the sea side symbolize…”
[He suddenly sneezes]
“Excuse me.  I sneeze in sea breeze,” he says
“Gesundheit.” I say

“Donkey Shoe,” he says
“So where were we?
Ah yes:  sea side see-saws
Symbolize sideways synchronicities”

“What synchronicities are these?” I say
“Those between sea horses and saw horses” he says
“I see,” I say
“I see you seize the sea scene,” He smiles

“Shore do!” I say, “I also seize the day.”
He snickers and sneezes times three
“Sneezies in threesies defeat the diseases!” Says he
“…And release three times the nasal debrisies.” I say

He says, “I think you are onto something”
I say, “I think you are on something”
He says, “You really are something”
I say, “Geeze! I’m gonna call the cheese police”

He says, “Stop.  There is no need.
I confess:  I’m a cheesy seer
And a threesie sneezer, and moreover,
Son of Susie, who sold sea shells by the sea shore.”

The Bar Tangled Spanner

Question:  What would you get, if you threw a spanner (British word for "wrench") into the works, and the spanner became entangled in the work's bars?

Answer:

Oh-oh say can you see? 

And what if the "bars" were the bars of the American Flag?  

And isn't that sort of happening right now?  If we let it, I mean?  

Darth's Wife, Ella

"Darth's Wife, Ella"
Pastel Pencil on Paper, 5" x 7.5"
Pun & Portrait by Karen Kay Remus

Get it?  Hint:  Sometimes, she's very uplifting.  Sometimes, she's a real downer.

A friend added, "Sometimes she gets stuck, and Darth has to come to her rescue."  That got me thinking...

Ella "gets stuck" purposely by pushing the wrong buttons on her suit simultaneously--just to get Darth's attention.  Darth is so busy running The Dark Side, that he often forgets she exists.  He rarely makes it home for dinner.  Night after night, Ella waits up, playing Parcheesi with her servant Wookie into the wee hours, waiting for Darth's return-- to no avail.  It's tragic.

Corny Punners Anonymous

"Corny Punners Anonymous Meeting"
Pencil on Paper, 3.5" x 8"
 by Karen Kay Remus, Copyright 2014

The Kiss of Death

"Apoca-lips," 5.5" x 4.25"pencil on paper
by Karen Kay Remus, Copyright 2014

Narcoleptic Ceasar