Post Election Celebratory Cake

Celebratory Post-Trump "Cheese Cake"
(AKA: Melting Lump of Trump)
Multi-media sculpture by
KK Remus (c) 2021

And finally, he's OUTTA THERE!  So I decided to make a "cake" to celebrate T****'s exodus.  But what kind of cake could possibly capture the hellish four years that marked this bloody, pissy, seemingly interminable period of time? Only one with the following qualities:

1. Inedible
2. Orange
3. Unappetizing
4. All appearance; no real purpose
5. Dangerous
6. Insane

In other words, not really a cake at all. It is a cake in the same way that T**** was president.

The cheesy-looking lump on the top is orange kitchen clay left over from my "Art Project: Making a Bust of Trump" post on this very blog (see March 16, 2020). This salty, crusty, ageing, useless, blob of nasty toxic dough has been sitting in the fridge wrapped in plastic film this whole time.

Into a roughly volcano-shaped mass of this icky clay, I stuck countless, pointy shards of cut up credit cards. This sculpture is not yet dry as of this writing, but once it is, if you try to pick it up or touch any part of it except for the base, it will cut you and draw blood.  Your dried blood spattered on the piece, will contribute an appropriate new element to this work of art.

The base is a leftover wooden cheese package that had contained "President" brand brie cheese.  How convenient!  My hoarding finally paid off.  Incidentally, that cheese was delicious, and it would have made a much better president than T****.

The backdrop is fabric from worn out, cut up, yoga pants that I had for over 20 years, and finally turned into rags.  The falling festive confetti (or covfefe as T**** might have called it), was just drawn in with my cheap phone features.  Yellow for pee, and red for blood.  By the way, is that pee pee tape ever coming out?  I guess we'll just have to settle for this fake pee pee "ticker tape."

This confection of doom is for sale, if you want to buy it.  Just leave me a comment, and we'll work something out. I really need to start an Etsy shop or something.  If you're just reading this blog for the first time I'm not a billionaire.  I chose "Genius Billionaire" when I started this blog back in 2013, because it struck me as ridiculous, silly, thing to call myself.  LITTLE DID I KNOW, that a few years later, we'd have a White House occupant who claimed to be both (and of course, was neither), and was totally serious about it!  Aiy yai yai!

 

Art Project: Making and Destroying a COVID-19 Virus Model

Step 1. Use some orange clay left over from your bust of Trump (see previous post).  Add blue food coloring to make it gray.  Drink alcohol as needed, because this is going to get gross.

Step 2. Mix blue food coloring into clay, and add red if it turns too green.  Oh man!  It looks like horribly wrong baby poop!  But that's fitting, since it's left over from Trump, and we're making a model of another disgusting thing.  See what I meant about gross?

Step 3.  Mix clay until it is a uniform color, roll it into a ball, and then start poking holes all over it.

Step 4.  Once it's riddled with holes, sprinkle baby powder on it to create that mottled, cement like, surface look.

Step 5. Get some of those paper ad flyers that you were saving in case you ran out of toilet paper, and cut red triangles out of them.

Step 6. Fold the red paper triangles in half.

Step 7. Bend the wide ends of the paper triangles flat, so that that they look sort of like golf T's.

Step 8.  Poke the sharp ends into the holes of the grey orb.

Step 9.  Continue filling the holes until you have created a ballpark hideous image of the COVID-19 virus.

Step 10.  Now pretend that this is an actual COVID-19 virus--the granddaddy of them all. Ball your hand into a fist so tight and angry that the veins pop out, place it above that sucker like a hammer, and pound the crap out of it.

Step 11. Enjoy the result. Hope that your metaphorical actions actually affect this "novel" virus and have a ripple effect that renders it impotent.

Incidentally, this is now a model of an "attenuated" virus--one so damaged that it cannot function but which still contains the unique materials that if placed in a vaccine, could trigger an immune response in the body to fight off an intact virus.  

Let's all hope that the real world version of this is coming soon!  

Be safe and healthy.  Make the best of what you have. Live long and prosper!

Art Project: Making a Bust of Trump

1. Make a fist-sized lump of kitchen clay.  Set aside two white globs.  Add yellow and red food coloring. Drink alcohol as needed, because it's going to get gross.

2. Mix well to evenly distribute color.  See what I meant about gross?  Looks like a tumor.

3. Form orange clay into a blob. 

4. Pinch to form ridges, use a butter knife to make furrows, and add white clay as needed 

until you achieve a ballpark, repulsive likeness of Donald J. Trump.

"Bust of Trump" by Karen K. Remus (c) 2020

I could have gotten the likeness way more accurate and hideous, but at this point, it was close enough, and I didn't want to spend any more time on it (or throw up).

5.  If you feel like it, punch it hard repeatedly.  I felt like it.

666. Re-shape into the Circus Peanut of the Apocalypse.

"Circus Peanut of the Apocalypse" by Karen K. Remus (c) 2020

DO NOT EAT!