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"Haunted Outhouse in Blue," by Karen Kay Remus (c) 2018
5.5" x 7.5" Gouache on paper |
What is an outhouse? For those of you too young to recall, it is a small, outdoor building that functions as a bathroom for those who lack indoor plumbing.
What is a haunted outhouse? In the case of this painting, it is the outhouse that haunts my memory in a nice way (unlike the evil ghost-chicken in my previous post).
The outhouse depicted above was once a real-world, stick-built structure, standing in the back yard of my grandparents' farm house. As a small child, I found it odd and strangely compelling, like a stinky play house. It was very old.
Even though my grandparents had indoor plumbing in the 1960's, the outhouse was still in use-- especially when we grand-kids visited, because the farm house only had one bathroom. The only danger of using the outhouse, however, was that it was often home to wasps or biting flies, and in relieving one's self, a person risked getting stung and/or bitten on the ass. But when you
really had to go, that was an acceptable risk.
The outhouse no longer exists outside of my memory. The tiny structure has long since decayed, fallen, and disappeared--worn down by time. The funny thing is, many similarly defining structures that once stood on my grandparents' land; a white fence, a corn crib, a chicken coop, a rusty hay baler, an ancient wagon wheel, a ramshackle white-washed garage . . . are long gone, but when I visit, I still see them. They are forever present in ghost form.
What haunts an outhouse? Do old boo-boos say, "boo?" Does old piss say, "boo-hiss?" Once when I was in class at "Second City" in Chicago, my troupe-mate asked Mr. Know-It-All, who spoke in gibberish, whether it was possible to "throw a fart in someone's face." I was playing Mr. Know it all's interpreter, and after a long-winded series of nonsensical grunts and growls from him, I explained to my classmates that in Mr. KIA's language there were 50 words for "fart," so it was difficult to give a literal interpretation of his response. I claimed that Mr. Know-it-all had basically answered, "no," but also added that a "fart is a ghost of a turd."
That last line brought down the house. My classmates clapped and howled. Tim gave me a high five. It was one of my glorious comedic moments. My former classmates and I have lost touch with the Tim, but I can still see him in my mind. Tim, if you're reading this, give me a comment!
Anyway, it occurred to me that an outhouse could be haunted by farts, if they are, indeed the "ghosts of turds."
