Riddle: The Opposite of True Genius

One Hand Clapping Riddle: Answered

"The Sound of One Hand Clapping is the Same
Sound as the Applause for My Air Guitar Solo"
Selfie and text by KK Remus (c) 2021

 

A Wacky Painting for Wacky Times

"Scarborough Fair and Tentacles" (AKA "Pandemic Pandemonium")
(c) 2021 by K.K. Remus
Gouache on paper 

This is my latest painting, inspired by the need to create something wild and colorful.  It's my reaction to being cooped up in Weird Ville for too long.  It was therapeutic to create, and I also find it therapeutic to view.

This image will be featured on the cover of the magazine, Hay Happenings, a publication concerning the Scottish family of Hay.  For more information, see http://www.clanhay.org/

Some viewers have told me about images they have spotted within this work:  a spaceman, a butterfly, a football player, sea creatures, birds...  It has also been interpreted as both an undersea and outer space landscape.  

What do you see?

 

Post Election Celebratory Cake

Celebratory Post-Trump "Cheese Cake"
(AKA: Melting Lump of Trump)
Multi-media sculpture by
KK Remus (c) 2021

And finally, he's OUTTA THERE!  So I decided to make a "cake" to celebrate T****'s exodus.  But what kind of cake could possibly capture the hellish four years that marked this bloody, pissy, seemingly interminable period of time? Only one with the following qualities:

1. Inedible
2. Orange
3. Unappetizing
4. All appearance; no real purpose
5. Dangerous
6. Insane

In other words, not really a cake at all. It is a cake in the same way that T**** was president.

The cheesy-looking lump on the top is orange kitchen clay left over from my "Art Project: Making a Bust of Trump" post on this very blog (see March 16, 2020). This salty, crusty, ageing, useless, blob of nasty toxic dough has been sitting in the fridge wrapped in plastic film this whole time.

Into a roughly volcano-shaped mass of this icky clay, I stuck countless, pointy shards of cut up credit cards. This sculpture is not yet dry as of this writing, but once it is, if you try to pick it up or touch any part of it except for the base, it will cut you and draw blood.  Your dried blood spattered on the piece, will contribute an appropriate new element to this work of art.

The base is a leftover wooden cheese package that had contained "President" brand brie cheese.  How convenient!  My hoarding finally paid off.  Incidentally, that cheese was delicious, and it would have made a much better president than T****.

The backdrop is fabric from worn out, cut up, yoga pants that I had for over 20 years, and finally turned into rags.  The falling festive confetti (or covfefe as T**** might have called it), was just drawn in with my cheap phone features.  Yellow for pee, and red for blood.  By the way, is that pee pee tape ever coming out?  I guess we'll just have to settle for this fake pee pee "ticker tape."

This confection of doom is for sale, if you want to buy it.  Just leave me a comment, and we'll work something out. I really need to start an Etsy shop or something.  If you're just reading this blog for the first time I'm not a billionaire.  I chose "Genius Billionaire" when I started this blog back in 2013, because it struck me as ridiculous, silly, thing to call myself.  LITTLE DID I KNOW, that a few years later, we'd have a White House occupant who claimed to be both (and of course, was neither), and was totally serious about it!  Aiy yai yai!

 

In space, no one can hear you scream.

Online, no one can smell you stink.

-KK Remus 2021

Planetary Conjunction 2020: Not as Advertised

"Not so Great Conjunction 2020"

by KK Remus (c) 2020

 

I had looked forward to seeing the supposed "Great Conjunction" of Jupiter and Saturn during the winter solstice this year.  This rare planetary alignment was supposed to have resembled a brilliant "Star of Bethlehem."  But those two planets never even got visibly close enough to spread photons to each other.  Was it the pandemic?  I'll tell you what it was:  a colossal disappointment of astronomical proportions.  Especially in these dark times, I want my cosmic phenomenon to be spectacular! Do you know what I'm saying?  If so, drop me a line.

xox -kkr 

 

 

 

A Poem For Everyone and No one

by Karen Remus (c) 2020

Put it on the backlog heap

And I'll get to it later

Let me get some extra sleep

And call me Couch Potater

Put it off till Sunday comes

For that's the day of rest

Based upon my ciphered sums

It all works for the best

Half of me was a tadpole once

The other half a planet

The tadpole came from a drunken dunce

And I popped out of Janet

Half of life is a miracle

The other half a mess

This message is empirical

Just ask my sister Bess

Spanish is my second language

English is my first

My Spanish is peor at best

And muy mal at worst

Line up for a broken heart

And spend your shiny token

Words can rip your world apart

When not a word is spoken