Batman Zero
by Karen Kay Remus
Copyright, 2014
You've heard of "Coke Zero," right? Well, now hear this: Batman Zero.
Think about it for a moment.
Batman Zero is what has become of the former Batman in some dystopian future. His back story is that over time, be began responding to the bat signal less and less, until the amount of times that he actually did respond equaled zero.
Now, with "Coke Zero," the addition of the word "zero," means something good, right? Not so with Batman Zero. Not by a long shot. Batman Zero just hangs out in his guano-encrusted cave, wearing his full regalia (that hasn't been washed since God-knows-when) doing nothing. He just doesn't care.
Robin went AWOL. Flew the coop. Nobody knows where he is, and furthermore, nobody cares. Least of all, Batman Zero. In fact, no one on planet Earth cares (and by this time, "caring" is a measurable quantity) less about anything than Batman Zero. He is basically a costumed, living, breathing, chunk of apathy. And that, my friends, is his new superpower.
Is that depressing enough to qualify as serious literature? I think so. Those of you with literary minds, please weigh in.
WARNING: This may not strike you as particularly remarkable right now, but mark my words... in two hours, you will feel differently.
End Note: I would like to thank the makers of "Norco," (hydrocodone-acetaminophen 5-325) for curing surgical pain and making thoughts like the above possible.
--Karen Remus, Columbus, GA, January 19, 2014
No comments? None since January??? This must be the work of Batman Zero... His newfound powers have gotten so strong that he is a veritable "black hole" of emotion resulting in the absolute pinnacle of "not-caring-ness" if there were such a word.. He has gotten so strong that he can suck out even the smallest amount of motivation from anyone who cared so little about him that they just HAD to tell someone.. but forgot...
ReplyDeleteThank you, Pesh! I LOVE your analysis, and I'm deeply grateful that BZ's emotion-suck-power does not extend to you. You must have Batman Zero Emotion Suck Repellent. I have often wondered about the decline of comments to zero, and this totally explains it. Thank you for reading!
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