Twinning's Kenyan Black Tea

Self Portrait With Cup of Kenyan Black Tea
by Karen K Remus, G.B.

My friend Paula just returned from England and brought me back some tea from the Twinning's Tea Factory.  She gave me three samples; two which were in tea bags, and this one, which was loose, double Ziploc bagged.  Even so, I could smell its spicy plea.  It said, "brew me!"

So I brewed it, dumping the entire contents of the Ziploc into a fabric tea bag she had given me months ago.  I would never buy a cloth tea bag for myself.  She's into spices and fabric tea bags and incense and exotic botanicals and anti-oxidants and cigars and gangsta whisky and devil masks, and men's shoes, and asteroids and so on...

Anyway, as it steeped, it started out reddish brown and then it just kept getting darker and darker and darker.  Finally, when it got so dark that I figured it couldn't get any darker without sucking in light and matter, I removed the bag.  Then I thought, "Oh, maybe that's why it's called Kenyan Black."  So I took a sip.  It was strong.  It had a lot going on.  I couldn't interpret it.  It was speaking Swahili.  After a few more sips, I was buzzing like an Africanized bee.

I emailed Paula and told her it was altering my brain chemistry (pronouncing the "ch" like church).  I told her I thought it was giving me a whole serving of vegetables (soft "g" like jelly).  I e-shouted, "Power to the people of Kenya!  Kenya dig it?!"  Then I signed off, wishing her peace and love* (*hot jungle).  Then I was alone again with my tea.  Just little ol' me and my Kenyan Black Tea....  I started whistling.

What the HECK is in this stuff?  My heart was papitating (I know I left out the L--it wasn't palpitating, it was papitating--don't tell me what my friggen heart was doing).  It's still papitating.  Pap pap PAP!  Pap--uh-t'pap-uh-t'pap--uh-uh-uh--t'pap-uh...

I can SO tell this stuff isn't American.  If it was, it would have huge red warning signs on it saying, "May cause papitations (yes, we know we "mispelled" it)!"  But then, maybe the actual box did.  I got this stuff in a Ziploc.  Paula had home labeled the bag with the name of the tea and a little picture she'd drawn of a kitty in Africa.  Oh, and what's this?  I hadn't noticed this before.  It says, "2 cups worth."

Oops.